Awaken to Love

The Value of A Quiet Mind

Tue, 12 Nov 2024 14:29:42 -0800

When the mind is quiet, it is much easier to notice negative thinking when it arises. This does not require thought management or self-management. With a quiet mind, the noticing of the negative thoughts becomes obvious. They are more easily seen for what they are, as the esteemed psychologist George Pransky would say, "Bullshit!"

With a busy mind, negative thoughts are easy to accept and entertain, as if they offer value and are worthy of consideration.

From the perspective of a quiet mind, these negative interlopers are recognized, their energy suck detected, and they can be easily dismissed. No analysis is necessary. There is no need to understand where they come from, although you might. All that is needed is a flat-out dismissal. A hard no. A clear boundary that no awareness is going to be given to them.

This is not sweeping things under the rug. It is freedom. Illusions can't be swept under the rug. They aren't real. All that can be done is see them for the lies they are so they can be dissolved.

A quiet mind is your natural state. It might not be your normal state, but it is natural. There is no one way to support yourself in quieting your mind. There are infinite ways. All you need to do is find what works for you. Your wisdom will guide you. Listen to your common sense. Listen beyond the noise of the urgency of your anxious thoughts. Listen to the quiet wisdom of your knowing.

If there is one thing to be on the learning curve in life, it is to get better at listening to your deeper knowing. The intuitive guidance that is beyond the intellect.

This is my learning curve. I am doing my best to be aware of my state of mind and to make self-honoring choices that preserve a quiet mind.

This past year of health challenges has forced me to slow down, and the benefit has been that I have become quieter within myself. I'm unwilling to sacrifice my inner peace because of anxious thoughts about money and what I...Read More

Awakening to Presence: Healing, Feeling, and the Magic of Being

Tue, 20 Feb 2024 12:01:45 -0800

It has been a while since you have heard from me. I have been dealing with some health challenges after taking a while to recover from Covid. And Angus had knee replacement surgery, so I've been supporting him in his recovery. He is doing really well. The doctor said he is ahead of 90% of his patients at this stage, so his commitment to physiotherapy is paying off.

My health needs and supporting Angus have forced me to slow down.

In slowing down, I noticed a layer of numbness being stripped away. I became aware of a level of dissociation from my experience that I hadn’t noticed before. I recognize this as a coping mechanism, and the slowing down helped me become more present and feel more.

Just this morning, I got quiet, and right under the surface, I felt sadness. It blossomed around my heart and took my breath away.

I understand my resistance to feeling when it is present.

What's the point of feeling? There is always more to feel. It is always changing anyway.

But the aliveness that is felt in presence is why it makes sense. The aliveness of feeling it all.

Living in my head has been my safe space. I thought it was my saving grace. Living in a fantasy world as a child then finding the salvation of intellectual pursuits.

But there is another way that doesn't throw away the intellect or imagination but also has room for presence, stillness, quiet, and being. Not to get anywhere. Not to improve myself. Not to feel better. No to get anywhere or get anything. Nothing reveals itself.

It is so easy for me to slip into doing and the numbness of not being present that I have enjoyed being forced to take it really easy. Productivity sacrificed. Efficiency massacred. Optimizing ignored.

Instead, prioritizing being of service to my Self.

Listening deeply.

Feeling what is.

Allowing myself to cede to the requests of my body.

Letting my mind relax.

Slowing down to what feels...Read More

Healing from Heartbreak

Thu, 03 Aug 2023 08:07:50 -0700

In this vlog, we dive deep into how to recover from a difficult breakup. While most of our clients choose to stay together, we recognize that sometimes ending a relationship is for the highest good. We discuss how people often suffer from misunderstandings about themselves that have them feel unloved and unlovable.

We emphasize the importance of feeling the grief that comes with a breakup but caution against getting stuck in the narrative of the relationship ending. Instead, we encourage you to be present with your feelings and the discomfort that arises. Doing so allows you to bring love to yourself as you experience the pain caused by misunderstandings. In this presence, misunderstandings dissolve, and truth can be revealed.

If you would like to listen to the Rewilding Love Podcast, it comes out in a serial format. Start with Episode 1 for context. Click here to listen. And, if you would like to dive deeper into the understanding I share along with additional support please check out the Rewilders Community.

The Freedom to Embrace Wholeness However YOU Want

Wed, 02 Aug 2023 15:32:37 -0700

Angus and I did a psilocybin journey recently. It has become part of our ongoing exploration of spirituality, and our psychedelic journies have a beautiful impact on our relationship. Even though we aren't working on our relationship or experiencing challenges, there is a continued increasing depth of intimacy, connection, and understanding that these heart-opening medicines support.

I used to be very judgmental about plant medicine. Coming from a strong indoctrination in yogic and meditation traditions, I saw psychedelics as cheating. I then became involved in a more Christian-based spiritual group that expressly prohibited plant medicine, including marijuana, but not alcohol, interestingly enough. However, during this time, I was introduced to plant medicine and participated in a ceremony where I took a heart-opener. As a novice, the guide gave me the starter potion.

I had a blissful time. I experienced myself as a pure beam of white light the entire evening. I was love. Everything surrounding me was love. Even the wafts of breeze on my skin felt loving. Nothing was separate from love. I will never forget this experience. I can feel the beauty of it now as I write.

You would think that after experiencing something so unique, I would have jumped on the bandwagon immediately, but I wasn't ready. I was still embroiled in the indoctrination of the group I was in, and I experienced low-grade nausea for weeks after the experience. That was enough to convince me plant medicine was not for me. Interestingly, I have taken many a heart-opener since and have never had that experience. I find it fascinating how wisdom speaks to us. At that time, my body was telling me, "No."

Shortly after my first plant medicine experience, I was introduced to the teachings of Sydney Banks, commonly known as the Three Principles.

His teachings felt like a breath of fresh air. It woke me up from the rigidity of the hierarchical and superstitious group I...Read More

Navigating Difficult Conversations in Relationships

Fri, 30 Jun 2023 11:23:24 -0700

Welcome to our vlog! We're excited to try a new filming format that we are going to use for the second season of our podcast.

Today, we'll explore difficult conversations in relationships and provide valuable insights to make them easier.

In the early stages of our relationship, we realized that discussions about money triggered emotional responses within us that had nothing to do with money. A lighthearted incident with Angus' accountant comparing Angus' financial knowledge to the accountant's cat, where the cat came out ahead, provided some foreshadowing for this being a difficult topic. And Rohini's encounter with a bailiff due to Angus'unpaid parking tickets reinforced this. So our early conversations about money were filled with judgments, criticism, insecurities, fears, and desire for validation.

Fortunately, we learned the importance of recognizing and playing to our strengths in service to relationship harmony. But we could only make these practical money decisions when we had clarity.

Slowing down allowed us to be present with our feelings and aware of our state of mind. Listening to the feedback of our emotions and recognizing the state of our nervous system regulation allowed us to take better care of ourselves so we could avoid taking out our emotional pain on our partner.

It became easier to see that the source of our suffering was not them but the misunderstandings in our consciousness. Having perspective on this allows us to be with feelings and let them move through rather than discharging upset on our partner--eventually, clarity returns.

Being open and vulnerable with ourselves also opens us to experience the truth of who we are beyond our conditioning. This is what wakes us up from our limiting beliefs. It also makes it possible to show up to our relationships with an open heart, and all conversations become opportunities for deeper intimacy and understanding.

If you would like to listen to the Rewilding Love Podcast, it comes out in a serial format. Start with Episode 1 for context. Click here to...Read More

Unlocking the Power Within

Fri, 02 Jun 2023 10:25:30 -0700

Angus and I interviewed Ankush Jain recently for our Rewilders Community, and he reminded us how people could give up too easily. In life and relationships, we can get used to an unhealthy normal. We often don't see where we have given up hope due to our inability to see possibilities even though the potential is there. Our conditioning clouds our judgment, and we trust the lens through which we see life rather than recognizing that we don't see the whole reality with all its possibilities.
This made me think about relationships and how couples can feel they are in a rut that they don't know how to get out of and give up hope. It is easy to feel frustrated and helpless when nothing seems to work to achieve sustainable change. Or a numbness can set in that subtly sucks the joy from life as we become increasingly disconnected from the present moment.
I know because I have been there. There was a time in my marriage when I had settled and was resigned to my relationship being good enough but not great. I have compassion for myself now. I thought I was being mature and realistic about marriage. I didn't think I was giving up. I thought I needed to ignore the feelings of dissatisfaction and grow up. I see now how I was living out my conditioning. Feelings of safety and stability seemed to require giving up hope for deeper intimacy and connection because I was exhausted from trying and failing to create change in my marriage. I believed there was something wrong with me. I wanted too much. I was too demanding. I was too idealistic. I was being unreasonable.
None of this was true, given what I know is possible now. I was going about trying to make improvements...Read More

How to Stop Unresolved Trauma From Derailing Your Relationship

Mon, 01 May 2023 00:00:47 -0700

Trauma has no expiration date - it can manifest in surprising ways, especially in relationships. Our latest vlog explores how unresolved issues can cause communication breakdowns. Watch as we share an example from our lives and delve into the internal experiences that can trigger these reactions. Let us know what you think - have you experienced anything similar? Have you ever experienced unresolved trauma impacting your relationships?
We'd love to hear from you in the comments. And don't forget to subscribe to our newsletter below so you never miss an episode of our vlog. Thank you for watching!

If you would like to listen to the Rewilding Love Podcast, it comes out in a serial format. Start with Episode 1 for context. Click here to listen. And, if you would like to dive deeper into the understanding I share along with additional support please check out the Rewilders Community.
Rohini Ross is co-founder of “The Rewilders.”